Today, I just want to go home. I want to go home and stay forever. Home is more a state of mind and heart than a place, but the only place I have ever felt my heart belongs is Sandersville, Georgia. The only reservation I have about committing myself to Sandersville is that eventually I would like to have not only somewhere to call home but someone to call home. I have lived in Sandersville for 22 years and know no one there worth marrying. But, I cannot live my life chasing a man I do not know. Today, I do not need a man. Today, I just want to go home.
(Don't mistake this post for a decision to go home when I graduate. Two weeks ago, I was just as certain that I wanted to go overseas as a Journeyman. Here's the problem: Just as much as I don't like not having a plan, I don't like making decisions.)
-mo
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Heartbreak
Following is an email i sent to Michael this morning. Seems an appropriate post here as somewhat of an update on the molding of my heart. -Mo
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mre-
Today, on my way to work, my eyes were opened, and my heart was broken. I looked around me on MARTA, looked into the eyes of my fellow passengers. The railcar was almost void of passion or excitement. One young man standing at the back of the car looked tired, but even in his smile-less face, I could sense a love for wherever he was going, an excitement about what the day held for him. His eyes and mine held all the passion in our car.
Other passengers - some dressed for high-paying office jobs, some dressed for minimum wage - stared blankly ahead or perused this morning's AJC. Their eyes were glazed with the reality that today began another passionless week of drudgery.
Many of those blank stares likely were the hopeless stares of those who desperately need a Savior. Others, no doubt, were the weighted stares of those who have eternal hope but who lack present excitement. Statistically, more than two Christians were in that car this morning. Sadly, I could not have identified them. If the Holy Spirit in me could not even recognize Himself in them, how will the world know He exists?
Michael, we cannot *not* find a way to spread excitement. The world needs to see a unified Church "[pressing] on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of [her]" (Philippians 3.12). We have a Biblical mandate, which is being confirmed through every other channel of divine communication.
Let's continue prayerfully to stretch boundaries as we follow through with the passions and visions He has given us and look forward to the day when every hopeless stare is met with the fiery glance and friendly "hello" of a passionate heart living life "to the full" (John 10.10).
-mrt
--------
mre-
Today, on my way to work, my eyes were opened, and my heart was broken. I looked around me on MARTA, looked into the eyes of my fellow passengers. The railcar was almost void of passion or excitement. One young man standing at the back of the car looked tired, but even in his smile-less face, I could sense a love for wherever he was going, an excitement about what the day held for him. His eyes and mine held all the passion in our car.
Other passengers - some dressed for high-paying office jobs, some dressed for minimum wage - stared blankly ahead or perused this morning's AJC. Their eyes were glazed with the reality that today began another passionless week of drudgery.
Many of those blank stares likely were the hopeless stares of those who desperately need a Savior. Others, no doubt, were the weighted stares of those who have eternal hope but who lack present excitement. Statistically, more than two Christians were in that car this morning. Sadly, I could not have identified them. If the Holy Spirit in me could not even recognize Himself in them, how will the world know He exists?
Michael, we cannot *not* find a way to spread excitement. The world needs to see a unified Church "[pressing] on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of [her]" (Philippians 3.12). We have a Biblical mandate, which is being confirmed through every other channel of divine communication.
Let's continue prayerfully to stretch boundaries as we follow through with the passions and visions He has given us and look forward to the day when every hopeless stare is met with the fiery glance and friendly "hello" of a passionate heart living life "to the full" (John 10.10).
-mrt
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