Control.
I feel so out of it. I know God is in it, but I do not know how to trust. (Proverbs 3.5-6)
Anxiety.
I feel so much of it. I know God does not desire it, but I do not know what to request. (Philippians 4.6)
Cares.
I feel so many of them. I know God wants them, but I do not know how to cast. (1 Peter 5.7)
Burdens.
I feel so weary of them. I know God wants to give me rest, but I do not know where to go. (Matthew 11.28)
Feelings.
They seem to be all I have anymore. The logic that used to own me has given way to unpredictable emotion. Well, maybe not so unpredictable. Predictably negative. Predictably sharp. Predictably overwhelming. Predictably powerful. Predictably controlling. Controlling my thoughts, my words, my actions. Controlling my pulse, my blood pressure. My emotional heart controlling my physical heart, my spiritual heart getting lost in the confusion. My head? Overpowered and useless. When my mind ruled my life, I prayed to be able to follow my heart. But, I do not follow; I am dragged mindlessly behind an unrelenting master. I am a slave to feeling.
Obedience.
I feel so far from it. I know freedom hinges on it, but I do not know what it looks like. (John 8.31-32)
Freedom.
I feel so close to breaking into it. I know it is mine in Christ, and I pray for boldness to stand firm in it. (Galatians 5.1)
-mo
