rescue

Dream 1:
I have seen this lady before. She is blind, and she only exists in my dreams. She stands downtown in the triangle at Edgewood, Decatur, and Peachtree. And she cries out for help. In dreams past, I have not exactly ignored her; I have acknowledged her, but I have walked past without offering the help for which she pleads. Last night, though, her cry was different.

"Melissa, help me!"

She said my name! This time, I have no choice. I stop. I listen to her story. She had been in a house fire, where her corneas had been scorched, leaving her blind and helpless. She desperately wants to see again, and somehow, she thinks I might lead her to health. I do. I take her to a doctor, and as my dream ends, I add to my student debt to pay for her surgical healing.

****wake up****
****fall back asleep****

Dream 2:
My family and I are swimming in the ocean. My parents' dogs Ruthie and Smokey (in reality, Smokey is now deceased) play on the beach until Smokey decides he must be nearer his momma, and he jumps in. He swims okay, but he panics and turns back toward the shore. The undertow is strong; he paddles with all his little Boston Terrier might, but he makes no headway. He begins to cry. I swim to him, tuck him under my right arm, and deliver him safely back to Ruthie's side.

****wake up****

I have thought about these dreams all day today. Especially in dream 1, the blind woman's cry for my help is sobering. In my dreams, I have passed her so many times thinking I could not offer what she needed. She knew better. These two dreams remind me of two types of people in my world - two particular friends, in fact: 1) those who are blind, cannot see a cure, and cry out daily for help and 2) those who can see glimpses of their safe haven between the waves but who are drowning trying to reach shore. For both of these individuals, I hold the answer. I know the Healer; I know the One who controls the waves with the sound of His voice. I know Jesus. I know salvation. My blind and paddling friends are calling out to me for help. What will be my response?

for better or worse

animals that mate for life.

powerless

Power's out on night before finals.

big job

No one in my Sunday school class today could tell me what Easter is about. "Passover" was the closest answer I got.

On days like this, my job both astounds and overwhelms me. Every week, God trusts me to represent Him to teenagers who have only a slight clue who He is, much less what He is about. That's astounding. There is so much rich goodness to be taught from God's Word, and we can only tackle it one story, one topic, one Sunday at a time. That's overwhelming.

Love this job.

Eternally (literally) grateful for parents who taught me the stories of the Bible.

Eternally (literally) grateful for a loving God who is patient with my youth and me as we seek Him.

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

jus' chillin'

found this cool cat on a caching quest with keg.

man in tree

and he's gonna be a daddy in 2 months!

thanks, b&n and foursquare!

WalMart kitty.

twitter

mrtrussell

lunch of champions.

not sure why my phone uploads pictures with crazy line.

beautiful morning walk to class.

for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.

It was pointed out to us last Wednesday by one individual that our children make too much noise during their regular Wednesday night activities. (This is my nice description of a ridiculously abrasive confrontation.)

My thoughts: Bologna! Noisy games are an avenue for sharing Jesus with children who do not hear about him elsewhere.

Jesus' thoughts:  Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Mat19.14)

Israel

Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God [...] and have overcome." (Gen32)

What does it mean to struggle with God and overcome? The man with whom Jacob struggled could not physically prevail. Did Jacob's blessing come from "overcoming" God? Am I blessed when I wrestle God down to the point of His giving in? Can I overcome God?

These questions could lead to a stimulating debate of free will and God's permissive will. But, tonight, God took this story in another direction for me:

As a Christ-follower, my goal, rather than to overcome God, should be to know God. God is perfectly good, perfectly perfect, perfectly eternal. He cannot be perfectly known by my imperfect humanity. Therefore, to attain my goal, I must struggle to know Him.

Paul writes of straining toward the goal of knowing God through Christ (Phil3.10-14).

Well, now Christianity just sounds like a whole bunch of struggling and straining. So, what's this talk of "overcoming?"

I may never know the fullness of God, but as I pursue Him, I know Him more. He promised Jeremiah, and He promises me: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer29.13).

When Jacob finally arrives at a place in his life where he is done trying to decide his own future - stealing birthrights, blessings, etc., he finds himself wrestling with God, begging for God's blessing, desiring God's plan for his life. In that moment of surrender, paradoxically, Jacob overcomes. Jacob seeks God, and he sees Him "face to face" (Gen32.30).

The struggle is not easy, and it leaves Jacob with a limp, but it also leaves him with a new name and a new destiny. Forever, Israel's offspring will be known as a nation of God's chosen people. Out of Israel's struggle comes Jesus Christ, through whom all may overcome.

My calling is to struggle, to grapple with scripture, to test and affirm or deny things I once held to be true. I may end up with a Jacobian limp, but when my struggle leads me to surrender, when it leads to a greater knowledge of who God is, then I have overcome. The victor's prize is God Himself.

-mo

Fratastic Classroom

Checked in during class this morning and earned this badge. heh?

Ecclesiastesical

I love being in my room. I am amazed these days that I will leave company, conversation, food, TV, etc., and retreat to the aloneness of my room. This habit would have been unbelievable only a few months ago. I guess I'm in an Ecclesiastesical (like, in Ecclesiastes... no, i did not just misspell Ecclesiastical...) season. I am enjoying this time of independent focus. I am learning to need other people but not to be defined by my relationships with them. Life is a lot less threatening when I am defined by what I know I can depend on. Life is a lot less threatening in my room.

oh, what a night!

this has been a really nice evening. home alone. completely alone. i've gotten a lot of school work done and a lot of home chores done. and, i have really enjoyed the absolute silence. being alone is more wonderful than it has been in many years.
peace.
-mo

huh?

APD Quality of Life Unit van.

Vitamin D

Soakin it up in the gsu courtyard while I study.

Tied up.

Here's my most recent attempt to solve my hair crisis. Also a milestone for me in blog world: first blogged picture of self. While not my favorite idea, it seems to be the thing to do...
(also first post from my phone)

hairy situations

i don't know how people deal with having hair. i really am not a fan of having insulation covering my forehead, ears, and neck always. it's so hot and so restrictive and so... hairy... ew!

and to have to wake up after restless, hair-restricted sleep to "fixing" one's hair???!!! torture. way too much of my life is consumed by hair right now. ew!

patience.
-mo

i cannot believe

nor do i deserve how wonderful my life is. *happy tears.
grace.
-mo

LEWDacris

so... just went to a Ludacris concert at GSU with kalen. we had a blast! i was determined to lose my voice to prove i'd had a good time, and kalen was determined, as always, to take a zillion pictures of herself/ourselves to prove we had a good time. the opening acts started 30 minutes late and were not bad, not spectacular. then, luda... fantastic music! i love hip hop; i love living in the hip hop capital of the world. but, the music is about all that was good about luda.

i did not expect a clean concert. i know luda's style, luda's music. speaking and rapping filthy words is something i expect and can deal with (i try to remind myself not to expect sinners to act like saints). but, flaunting crudeness, asking the audience to be active participants in it, is unacceptable. i already struggle enough with keeping sex and bad language out of my mind and off my lips; i do not need to be encouraged to participate in it. So, after only a few songs, kalen and i left. since it was after dark, we got an escort from gsu police back to my car, which was parked in my usual dark, scary, ghetto parking lot.

we joined her cool friends at octane for a birthday celebration. and we went home. overall, a good night with a great friend!

peace.
-mo